006 | Learning to Ride Inner Oceans
Writing from THE GREY COUCH
Sunday • 10:18 AM
Dear Friends,
The above is the face of someone who has had a doozy of a week! Not in circumstance or external things happening, but my internal world went through it this week. It was so unsettling and hard, but also something I feel I needed to go through to take this next step, to really start pushing forward with all my energy.
I was thinking back yesterday on something I read in Wilderness Magazine a while back. The article related the mind and our inner ups and downs to the ocean...
"Those waves of depression, anxiety or other modes will make their way through us. Rather than mustering a rigid resistance or desperate denial, flexibility and acceptance may be the key. Being able to move through the waves rather than try to power them out of existence could be the strongest strategy for resilience."
I like and dislike this idea. I like it because it means I can let go of trying to control my mind and get it to a certain place of peace and steadiness because to a certain, potentially large, degree the waves will come regardless of my efforts. (This does not mean peace cannot be experienced in the midst of the wave or that I should give up. It means letting go of trying to control.)
I dislike this idea because it means this state of mind I'm seeking is ultimately impossible to reach through my efforts and brings about a fear that I will always struggle with these inner oceans that ripple storms into my outer world.
Whether it is one or the other or a combination of the two, I very much embrace the last part about being able to move through the waves. Regardless of my state of mind, storms will come and keep coming in life, be it internal or external. For the most part, we cannot stop them from coming, and trying to is like standing amidst rain and thunder and yelling at the clouds to stop. Fruitless.
But I CAN decide how I will weather the storm. I CAN learn how to ride the waves. I CAN keep walking when my shoes grow soaked and heavy. And I CAN choose to be thankful and remind myself of all that is good in my life as I learn to ride the waves well.
The mind is an infinite landscape, it's terrain and weather ever changing. Never does it settle for good into what it will be, but I can come to know the terrain, learn the ocean, learn how to weather the weather.
This week was rough, but getting thrashed in the water gave me motivation to keep learning, and it taught me some things about how ride the waves better. So I'm going to take a few deep breaths and get back on my board. I will ride these waves.
Strength and courage to you as you ride your own waves,
Shel
THIS WEEK I:
Watched this video about George Etweiler, a 97-year-old runner, who competes every year in the grueling 7.6-mile race up Mount Washington, breaking his own record each year for oldest finisher. In addition to his ancient, lucky, green running shorts, Etzweiler carries something else special with him: The memory of his late wife of 68 years, Mary.
