124 | Two Helpful Questions for Hard Moments

Hello beautiful humans,

A few days ago, I found myself feeling overwhelmed at the loss of someone very dear to me. It felt almost debilitating. I didn't know what to do, and then, I remembered a practice I've been trying from Tara Brach involving radical acceptance.

In moments when you feel overwhelmed, when you find yourself judging yourself or others, or just feel yourself struggling with something inside you, she offers two helpful questions.

1. What is happening in me right now?
2. Can I be with this?

After asking these two questions and responding, you ask them again and again until you get to a place of acceptance.

I asked myself these questions, and they were painful to answer. I felt sadness swell in me like a massive wave and then that same wave relentlessly crashed over me. Could I be with this? Yes. After all, there was nowhere to go, and I didn't want to run from it anyway.

You can't move through things you deny or aren't aware of. I found these questions helped me truly feel everything. Oooph. 

After about three rounds of these questions (and a lot of tears), I found myself in an unexpected yet familiar place, a place of gratitude.

Although losing people (whether through death or relationships ending) is so hard, when we've known love, we would never trade that for anything. Because at the end of the day, one of the most important things about living is the people we get to share it with.

The people in our lives are what matters most.

The people we find, the people we lose, the people we love.

And the people around us also help us get through loss. They hold us, sit with us, and remind us everything will be okay.

Here is a poem offering a bit of gratitude to those who have walked with us before and walk with us now.

SHALL WE WANDER

On this journey of the soul
Where life weathers us
While we wait for the sun
You are a warm blanket
Wrapped around my shoulders
You are a deep breath

Sending so much love your way,
Shel

P.S. If you missed it, I released a new song a few weeks ago. It's a simple song that holds a calm space to be with change and transitions. There's also a bonus track called "In Conversation" where I talk a little about the song.

Cover Image by Rodrigo Silva via Unsplash